Having a good opinion of yourself – in other words good self esteem – is one of the most important factors in being able to feel happy or content and able to enjoy the life you lead.
We all have bad days when we lack confidence and doubt our own abilities but when this becomes a regular or daily event then low self esteem has become a problem that needs to be addressed.
So if this is something you are struggling with then you probably want to know how to improve self esteem and climb out of the slump you find yourself in. Well, you’ve come to the right place because these are some of the ways I’ve found to help.
How To Improve Self Esteem
- Tell yourself a different story. Every day we talk endlessly to ourselves and without realising it, you are probably telling yourself a lot of negative things. Start becoming more aware of when this is happening. When you find yourself thinking things like “I can’t do this” or “I don’t deserve this” you are subconsciously making that your reality. Remember these are only thoughts and you have total control over what you think. Start replacing negative thoughts with more positive ones.
- Focus on your strengths and ignore your weaknesses. Everyone has things that they are good at and things which they are not so good at. The problem is – most of us spend far too much time dwelling on our faults and weaknesses and comparing ourselves to people who are good at the things we struggle with. For example my friend is a much better golfer than me and if I was to simply dwell on my golfing ability in comparison to him then I would feel very bad about myself. Take some time to work out what your strengths are – what is it that you do well? Spending more time remembering the good things about you will give you a boost to your self esteem.
- Change your inner circle. John Lee Dumas always ends his Entrepreneurs On Fire podcast by reminding listeners that you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. Think about who you spend your time with and if they are people who reinforce negative thoughts about you then you need to consider spending les time with them and finding people who are more supportive of you.
- Do something you can be proud of. This is a great way to build your self esteem while at the same time doing something to help others. Find a way to volunteer – perhaps by helping your favourite charitable organisation in some way. The people you help out will be grateful for what you do and receiving their thanks will make you feel good about yourself. Remember – if you do good things to others, they tend to do good things to you in return.
- Become more assertive. When you have low self esteem you often find yourself agreeing to do things you don’t want to do. Try to become more assertive. This is not the same as being aggressive or dominant. It simply means that you respect the thoughts and wishes of others and expect the same from them in return. Learn to say No. It’s easier if you also explain why you are saying No. Remember – if you act like a mat, don’t be surprised if people walk over you!
- Make time for yourself. This can be hard if you work full-time or have kids or other responsibilities but it’s really important to find time for the things you love and want to do. Whether it’s something small like time spent reading or watching a favourite TV program or something bigger like a night out or a vacation, showing your subconscious that you value your own enjoyment will boost your self esteem.
When you know how to improve self esteem you will unlock the doors to personal happiness, self confidence and success. Many of these tips might seem very simplistic on the surface but simple solutions are often the most powerful ones.
I know from my own experience that when I learned how to improve self esteem I started to realise what potential I had and it opened my eyes to achieving more in life. Try it for yourself and be pleasantly surprised!